Getting Perspective

My dear cousin posted a question on FB yesterday: “Looking for inspiration! What are your best/current mantras to keep pushing through the craziness of this year?” My answer:

“I will look back on this time. When I do, what do I want to see?”
– Uncommon Julie, 2020 AD

Perspective-taking has been a weird talent of mine since I was little. I naturally slip into imagining “later” and look back at the current problem or situation from that point of view.

Pros: Reduces angst, establishes a goal-oriented, “end in mind” problem solving approach.

Cons: Can suppress (aka: “stuff”) emotion: sort of a “since we’ll get over it eventually, why be mad/upset/hurt now?” mindset which can be growth- and purpose-stunting in the long term.

Regarding the incessant horrors of 2020, I know that we will, at some point, be through this. We will, in that future, look back at this time and see how it unfolded – the good, the bad and the ugly.

We have done this time and time again in our lives – faced untenable circumstances. Each time, we’ve gotten through and looked back. Indeed, billions of people living and dead have faced untenable circumstances over hundreds of thousands of years and gotten through and looked back.

“As I look back on that time, I remember so vividly being terrorized by that saber-toothed mammoth rex.”
– Grog, 200,201 BC

Perspective provides immediate relief as it transforms the frenetic, myopic urgency into farther-sighted space for intention. It allows us to see our choices not as black and white, frying pan and fire, pot and kettle but more broadly in terms of the values by which we want to have lived regardless of outcome.

“As I look back on that time, I’m glad I helped Grog sharpen her spear so that she could save us from that saber-toothed mammoth rex.”
– Grog’s Neighbor, 200,201 BC

Perspective also allows us to see that we are not a bottomless resource in and of ourselves and that in order to be there later to look back, we may need to take time and space to just be. This is self-care. It’s getting sleep, eating nutritious food, having fun, taking a break, having a cry, beating your pillow, screaming into the wind, doing nothing at all.

“As I look back on that time, I wish my mom had taken a much deserved break after saving us from that saber-toothed mammoth rex. She’s not herself any more and I miss her smile.”
– Grog’s Son, 200,201 BC

One thread in the tapestry doesn’t make that much of a difference when the tapestry is taken as a whole. Honestly, none of us in 2020 AD can say we knew Grog. But we know she was brave and we know her neighbor valued collaboration and those qualities and values mattered in the long run. Perspective affords you the confidence to live by your values.

And while one thread may not matter that much, we know that if that one thread is stretched to breaking, it can compromise the integrity, the soundness, the strength of the whole. We may not feel the impact of Grog’s lack of self-care but we know it mattered to Grog’s son and so it matters to the whole. Perspective affords you the right to self-care so that you can continue to contribute your best to your world.