An Antidote to the Sunday Scaries

This article talks about how the Sunday Scaries is a phenomenon unique to our more modern work style. As the article points out, while Sunday night blues might have always been a thing, the nature of this new version seems to kick it up a notch. I agree and I have some ideas for what to do about it.

What’s Scary?

In trying to answer why Sunday might be so scary, we can look to the brain. We know that if we are scared, we are in threat response. If we are in threat response, we are responding to a perceived threat. So what is threatening about Sunday? A simple diagnosis can be made using Dr. David Rock’s SCARF model:

• Status – A lack of status or lower status triggers threat response
• Certainty – Lack of certainty triggers threat response
• Autonomy – Lack of choice triggers threat response
• Relation – Lack of belonging triggers threat response
• Fairness – Lack of fairness triggers threat response

Right off, Certainty, Autonomy and Fairness jump out at me as the major triggers at play relative to the Sunday Scaries. Certainty: Given the ambiguity of today’s work world, we don’t know what’s going to happen on Monday and whether we’ll be ready for it. Autonomy: We don’t have a choice. Ready or not, we have to show up on Monday. Fairness: We expect a full weekend to relax and when it’s taken up by mundane errand-running or being in touch with work 24/7 or catching up on to-do’s it can feel unfair.

So what can we do?

We can lower that threat level by taking action. We have the power to become aware of our energy level, what’s dragging it down and what to do about it. If you regularly get a case of the scaries, here are a few ideas to try:

Plan ahead

Before the next weekend comes, decide what you really would like to fit in that would make a difference, schedule it, commit to it and – here’s the key – be mindful of it as you do it. This could be as small as enjoying a whole cup of coffee in silence Saturday morning. The idea is to be thoughtful about what makes a weekend for you and to make sure you build that aspect in.

Prepare

• On Sunday, afternoon or evening – preferably at a time scheduled before the scaries typically have you in their grip – take a half an hour or so to listen to a guided meditation from insight timer (or your favorite guided meditation source). Select a meditation that fits – calm, confidence, stress reduction, anxiety relief – to help your brain relax and refocus.

Be Purposeful

Remember that while you may HAVE to go to work the next day, you also GET to. Shifting your frame of mind from a lack of choice (have to) to a full portfolio of choice (get to) can make a world of difference. Write down at least 5 things you GET to do at work that you enjoy or can look forward to such as interacting with colleagues, solving problems, being creative or pitching ideas.

And if you’re REALLY dreading Monday mornings, perhaps it’s time to reflect on what’s working and what’s not so that you an begin to shape work and life for yourself that is meaningful and gratifying and Sunday Celebration worthy!