Invisible Handcuffs: Work Life Balance Arrested

I have had great jobs with great salaries and awesome benefits with wonderful people doing important work. I’ve been valued and impactful with influence and authority. I have had work life balance, flexibility and the freedom to be creative. I have had the best jobs you could imagine.

Why on earth would I leave such a (pick one: secure / lucrative / comfortable / responsible / high-status / …) job? I didn’t. How could I? It would be career suicide and irresponsible and selfish and dangerous and wrong. So I stayed and I suffered.

It was Killing Me

I was good at my jobs and got great satisfaction out of doing them but just because we’re good at something doesn’t mean it’s what we should be doing. Our talents, energy and passions act as fuel but they can be expended entirely when the need for them is greater than the circumstance’s ability to return the investment. On a number of occasions as an HR professional I found myself giving way more energy than I had and getting way less energy back than I needed. Burnout is a slow and painful descent.

So Check Yourself

• How’s your Energy? Are you waking up with a hop in your step?
• Are your Needs being met? If being heard or having freedom or being needed or having a sense of control is important to you, are you satisfied?
• To what extent are your Talents in play? Do you have plenty of moments in your work and life where you experience ease, flow and sustained engagement in your activities?
• Are you aligned with your Purpose? Is your work meaningful and gratifying? Are you contributing to something larger than yourself?

If you answered no to any of the above questions, perhaps you own a pair of invisible handcuffs too.

Shape Your Work and Life

In terms of joy and fulfillment at work, you may not be able to have it all but you CAN get what you need with a better work life balance. You can experience energizing, satisfying, contributing, purposeful work and life. It can be scary and takes courage – even making small changes. But it’s so worth it. Consider beginning by answering these questions:

• What are your Energy Boosters? What gives you a hop in your step?
• What work qualities are most important to you? Having a say or being in control or being able to work uninterrupted or having clear direction? How might you get more of those things?
• What are you best at? In what moments of your work and life do you experience ease, flow and sustained engagement in your activities? Can you do more of that?
• What would be meaningful to you to be a part of?

Trappings or a Trap?

The first time I left a most awesomest job, it was not necessarily my idea. Several business unit presidents were up for the big job and mine didn’t get the position so I had the (still wrenching) experience of letting myself go (“Julie…I have some bad news…”). So it wasn’t until I had decided to strike out on my own, hang the shingle and get to entrepreneurial work that I realized I had the gift of doing what I really loved all along: freedom, variety, challenge and fulfillment. The trappings of corporate employment are so…SOUND. The perceived security, the routine, the relative comfort. But once on the other side, it’s easier to see that those trappings can act more like a trap. Until we realize there are no handcuffs and we can reach for something better.

If you are yearning for something more or different, I hope you’ll consider joining UPschool. As a member, you’ll explore what truly drives you and what you might start to build in terms of meaningful work and life.