Uncommon Consulting

Category: Power of Inquiry Dwnld

  • Listening & Asking Questions

    Listening & Asking Questions

    We are experiencing a mind-blowing confluence of change and challenge in this moment. I mean, this year is literally joke: When does 1918 + 1929 + 1968 not equal 5815? Answer: When it’s 2020.

    Any ONE of these crises (the pandemic, the economic hardship, the civil unrest…) and any ONE of the changes/challenges they necessitate:

    • Wearing a mask
    • Losing a loved one
    • Staying home
    • Working differently
    • Adjusting to a new (or no) job
    • Tightening belts
    • Loss of childcare
    • Calls for justice
    • Fear for one’s safety
    • Reckoning with white privilege and complicity
    • …

    would be enough to distract and distress us but each of us is dealing with some combination of many, if not all, of these at once.

    Crazy-making Chaos

    Normally, we’re not all going through this level of change all of the time which – normally – allows us to be there for one another, to empathize, compare experiences and lend support. But this is not normal. This is crazy-making. And this level of crazy-making produces a number of unproductive side-effects. Most notably, in the face of change/challenge, the human brain goes into threat response (resistance, defense, withdrawal). Consider the phrases: “I was so mad I couldn’t think straight” or “I was scared silly”. Neuropsychologically, those phrases are accurate. When we are in threat response, the parts of our brain associated with rationale thinking and planning are shut down in favor of our fight/flight/freeze response. This is not ideal for workplace productivity.

    Stop Helping!

    Our instinct, when encountering a distressed friend, family-member or colleague, is often to help lessen the distress by offering solutions, ideas, support and encouragement. You may have tried this recently and found it to not be as effective as it has been in the past. In fact, you may have found yourself on the receiving end of an unappreciative and indignant lion’s roar of “no thank you” when your distressed friend bellows “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH SO JUST SHUT UP WITH YOUR STUPID HELP!!!!”. Or perhaps it was you who has recently bellowed.

    When we are at this extreme level of chronic distress, we are in threat response and unable to take in new information. Meaning we are literally incapable of “seeing the bright side”, “getting perspective”, “taking a step back” or “counting our blessings”.

    Five Critical Benefits to Asking Questions

    In order to calm the threat response, we need to address and disarm the threats. That’s where questions come in and give us these three critical benefits:

    • Reduces threat response
    • Resurrects ability to think and plan rationally
    • Validates individuals and connects people through empathy
    • Reconnects to possibility
    • Lays the foundation for real change and growth

    Start Listening

    One of the most important things we can do in these times of unprecedented challenge and change is to listen. Listen to employees who are struggling at home. Listen to Black professionals who endure microaggressions daily. Listen to colleagues who require additional accommodation for health reasons. Listen like our lives depend on it. Because these days, they may. Here’s a resource:The Power of Inquiry

    UPschool - Professional Development for HR Pros & People Managers If you are a human resource management professional or people manager interested in learning more about leadership development, #HRSelfcare and motivation, consider joining UPschool. As an UPschool member you have access to programs, workshops, tools, templates and expert guidance/coaching for professional development. Unlock your best capabilities!

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  • How to Fast Track Progress During Difficult Times

    How to Fast Track Progress During Difficult Times

    Fear Stops Change and Growth.

    We can incentivize and expect and inspire and blame and punish and be impatient all we want but when the human brain is in threat response, no one is going anywhere until it feels safe.

    Threats to SCARF Trigger Fear.

    David Rock’s SCARF model tells us that when we humans detect a threat to our perceived degree of:

    • Status (good or bad; winning or losing)
    • Certainty (knowing what to expect)
    • Autonomy (freedom of choice/movement, independence)
    • Relatedness (part of a desirable/comfortable group)
    • Fairness (being treated with honesty and equity)

    The human brain goes into threat response which shuts down the parts of our brain associated with learning, imagining and planning and redirects the brain’s resources to the parts associated with fighting, defending, withdrawing and resisting.

    Any Potential Change is a Threat to SCARF

    • Informing people they need to work at home threatens Certainty, and Autonomy.
    • Advising people to wear a mask threatens Autonomy and Fairness
    • Telling people they are complicit in systemic racism threatens Status and Relatedness
    • Being fired, losing one’s retirement, taking a pay cut, getting Covid – each threaten Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness
    • Imploring people to #dobetter and #bebetter threatens Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness
    • Asking for time and patience to investigate #whiteprivilege threatens Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness

    If We’re in a Constant State of Fear How Do We Change and Grow?

    Unlike any other time in history, every single one of us is experiencing major simultaneous disruption and change. Neuropsychologically, therefore, every single one of us is simultaneously in threat response.

    When we are in threat response the parts of our brain associated with learning, imagining and planning (our literal ability to take in new information and to learn to do and be better) are shut down. In order to move forward – to change and to grow; to #dobetter and #bebetter – a brain-based approach will dissolve the blocks and help us fast track critical progress. Here’s how:

    1. Calm the threat response by using the Energy Drainer Exercise
    2. Decide what you truly want to achieve by Setting Your Objective
    3. Seek to fully understand by using the The Power of Inquiry
    4. Access support and resources for what you want to achieve by using personal and professional development guidance like UPschool

    With decades of experience in human resources, management and leadership development and employee motivation and engagement, using this method, I know what this approach can produce. Reliably and measurably. This practical, brain-based, human-centered, disciplined and efficient path gets results.

    You Don’t Have to Go It Alone

    Whether you envision a successful transition to working at home, a measurable positive difference in employee engagement, a transformation to a new business model, demonstrated commitment to anti-racism and racial equity or something just as big and important, until you address the perceived threat, there will be no growth.

    I created UPschool for people who want to be the best version of themselves and who want to help others do the same – whether as HR professionals, managers, parents, educators or in other roles where you are driven to make a difference.