How to Manage

I love karaoke. Fever, Rehab, Save a Horse, You’re So Vain, The Day the Music Died – all go to favs. I also love management best practices. So naturally I was moved to change the words to Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” in an effort to bring two of my most favorite things together: Karaoke and Management Training. A lot like peanut butter and chocolate, only better.

How to Manage, Management Training

Right now, he’s probably sales training
With the fresh new intern
And they’re probably making progress.
Right now, he’s probably ignoring
Bob for some tiny little issue
‘Cause he got results his own way.
Right now, he’s probably well behind on his
Reviews because he thinks the team are dumbos.

And he don’t know —
That we dug our hands into the files
Of his paltry experience managing teams.
Carved his name into the next training session seat.
We took a Louisville slugger to his promotion
And slashed his hopes of the leader bonus.
Maybe next time he should know how to manage.

Right now, the team’s probably up lodging some
Obvious and valid discrimination complaint.
Right now, they’re probably saying “We Quit!”
And he’s a-thinking that he’s gonna get more staff.
Right now, he’s probably telling
the new intern ‘bout their guaranteed promo

Oh and he don’t know —
(Chorus)

We might have saved a little trouble for the next team
‘Cause the next time that he leads
Oh, you know it won’t be without training!
No, not without management training.

(Chorus)

Maybe next time he should know how to manage
Oh, maybe next time he should know how to manage.
Oh, know how to manage.
Ohhhh