Sometimes it’s hard to tell. “Opposites attract”, they say. “Being let go was the best thing that happened to me”, they say.
When you’re in it, it’s the worst. With time and perspective (and perhaps counseling), well, it may still be the worst. But with the right ingredients, it can indeed ultimately be the best.
When I met my husband, I was delighted by his carefree, devil-may-care spirit. Twenty years later (yes, I was a child bride) it was the very thing that drove me up the wall, across the ceiling, through the door and out of town (at least in my own mind).
I spent 15 years at a wonderful company where I learned and grew and developed in ways I could never have imagined. Then, during a major consolidation, my job went away.
It’s really no fun when two “worst things” are happening at the same time.
I’m now happily married to a wonderful man and I have the most amazing job. It’s the same guy. It’s not the same job.
The right ingredients:
1. Give yourself time and space to envision what you truly want – no holds barred.
2. Understand that you – and only you – are responsible for your own happiness and success.
3. Use the resources that are available to you to sort out the garbage that is in your way of seeing what you want and what you need to do. (this can be therapy, coaching, friends, self help books, meditation, floor hockey or many other activities you may never have considered).
4. Take action – any action – that moves you toward what you ultimately truly want.
5. Don’t think too far ahead. You cannot conceive of, never mind plan for, the things that will happen down the line. Take one step in the direction you’d like to go and deal with that next reality when you get there. Trust and move.
I have partnered with coaches, consultants and therapists who are trained in the art and science of moving people from stuck to solution. Give me a shout if you’d like a referral.
What’s worked for you?