Why do people REFUSE to MOVE?

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Our success as change agents is predicated on our ability to meet resistance, shake its paw, and help it see a brighter way.  Understanding “threat response” is critical. 

After 20 years as a human resources, organizational development and management best practice expert, I felt I knew all the techniques for getting people engaged in their work, motivated toward their goals.  People told me I was uncommonly good at it and I had strong success in motivating individuals; turning around performance; building teams and repairing broken ones; and coaching managers and executives on the best ways to build engagement.

Of course no one can expect 100% success every time so I had come to believe that, simply, some people just refuse to be moved.

But I now know that’s not true.

Few people wake up in the morning and say “You know…I think I’ll be unreasonably obstinate today.  I’m going to refuse to acknowledge plain facts and resist any attempts by others to help me succeed.  Yeah…it’s going to be a great day!”

So why does it seem like so many people ACT that way in the face of change?  Well, recent developments in brain science and neuropsychology have given us much greater insight into the motivation behind our behavior.

You’ve heard the sayings: “I’ve got a lot on my mind”. “I was scared silly” or “I was so mad I couldn’t think straight”.  It turns out, those sayings are physiologically true.

We now know that:

1. Our working memory can only process so many things at once.  Once it’s reached its limit it is literally not able to take in or process more information.

Example: You’re driving home with work on your mind, you notice a knocking in the engine as you pull into the driveway.  Upon entering the house, you see the cat box needs to be cleaned and the kids haven’t finished their homework.  You then realize you need to get take out for dinner.  Do you remember where you left your car keys?

2. We can be cognitively crippled when our brain perceives a threat.  When we are scared or mad, our cognitive ability – our ability to think rationally, be creative, take in new information or even understand what someone is telling us – is compromised. Further, when we are in threat mode, our adrenaline is triggered and can cause us to behave in ways we might otherwise not.

Example: You’re presenting in a meeting to your peers and you keep getting interrupted.  People are second guessing your data and having side conversations while you try to maintain control of the room.  You finally get the meeting back on track when the conference room door opens behind you.  You let out an exasperated sigh, roll your eyes and shout “WHAT?” before you realize it’s the CEO stopping into to see your work. (Cringe)

What all this means is that a person may understand that they are being asked to change but be in some level of “threat response” and therefore be either unable to move forward effectively or, worse, be behaving in an unproductive way.

For those of us responsible for guiding individuals through change, it behooves us to understand this phenomenon and be prepared to facilitate through it.  Here are some tips:

1. Don’t underestimate the power of venting. Venting actually helps calm the brain’s threat response by giving voice to or acknowledging the perceived threat(s) and its impact on the individual.  Like a tea kettle, the key is to turn down the heat (provide some space and time) and let the steam out by venting until the pressure seems relieved.

2. There’s no need to debate the validity of the perceived threats.  If an individual perceives a threat – then the threat exists as far as his or her brain’s threat response system is concerned.  Acknowledge that it’s real for them and let them vent.  Don’t try to “fix” at this point.

3. Once the threats are acknowledged.  Ask what the individual would like instead. Success?  Confidence? Comfort?  Once the ideal end state for them personally is identified, work with them to generate some options for achieving that end state.  It could be letting go, being okay with failure, getting help, quitting – anything goes.  The idea here is to look to THEIR ideal future and generate choices for getting there.

Remember.  It is not possible to directly motivate someone else.  You can provide an environment conducive to being motivated and you can provide a framework for someone to use personally to get motivated.  But in the end it’s up to them.  And then it’s up to you to decide what the consequences are.

 

 

 

 

The 7 Laws of Seat-at-the-Table HR

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I’ve always disliked the term “business partner” in the HR field.  You don’t hear about marketing business partners or finance business partners.  It’s understood that these functions are PART OF the business, as in NECESSARY.

I also dislike the concept of “educating the business about the value of HR”.  That’s like telling diners about the dinner you COULD serve them.

You want a seat at the table?  Bring an entree.

Here are some tips for doing that:

1. Know your business.  I don’t mean HR business.  I mean the business you are employed in (or want to be employed in).  Attend industry events, read up on market trends, know your competitors and your position in the market.  Who are your customers and why do they choose you?  What are the biggest opportunities and threats developing on the horizon?  What’s your revenue, profit margin, and market strategy?  Which revenue streams are over- or under-performing?  Where in the life cycle are those products? To what extent is technology impacting your products or processes?

2. Know your organization. Understand each function, what it contributes and how it interfaces with the other functions in the organization.  What is the strategy and how are you organized (or not) to support that strategy?  What kind of culture is best to support the organizational goals and do you have that culture?  Who are both the official and the unofficial decision makers?  What kind of legacy systems, ideas and relationships exist?  How strong is the leadership team?  To what extent is there a shared definition of success and how do they help each other reach it?  How would each department head answer the question: “What one thing if changed would make the biggest positive difference in our department’s ability to be successful?”

3. Know your talent.  What are the key talent drivers given your industry and your organizational strategy and structure?  Where is this talent?  Can you grow it or do you buy it?  How do you keep it?  What’s its value in terms of total rewards (compensation, benefits, environment).  Where is it going when it leaves you and why?  What kind of management talent does your organization require?  How do you ensure that it is in place?

4. Deliver the basics.  The HR devil is in the HR details and if people’s paychecks, leaves, benefits or perquisites aren’t handled correctly, HR gets a black eye.  If leaders and peers don’t see quick response and accurate execution, ditto.  What are the basics in your organization?  Are your processes efficient?  Is your HR team clear on priorities and are you staffed to deliver?

5. Align your role with the business. It’s not just speaking the language.  It’s understanding the business you are in so that you can support that businesses goals with sound HR planning and practices.  It’s being able to responsibly and expertly advocate for your strategy with a clear connection to current organizational challenges.

6. Preserve integrity.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Honor confidentiality at all levels. Role model transparent and direct communication.

7. Say no.  Say no to those activities that do not align solidly with clear and present business goals. Say no to anything that conflicts with the first six laws.

Would you add or change any?

Your Responsibility to Choose

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You can rail against reality.  You can tear your hair out in frustration.  You can suffer in silence.

Or you can choose.

You can choose to change your situation.  You can choose to refuse the status quo.  You can choose to speak up and speak out.  You can choose to leave.

Or you can choose.

You can choose to accept what is.  You can choose to see the positive.  You can choose to change your expectations.  You can choose to stay.

Or you can choose.

You can choose to remain in pain.  Which is damaging.  To you. To those around you.  And it’s kind of a silly choice when you think about it.

 

It’s 3am. Do you know who your team is?

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If I woke you in the middle of the night and asked you to name your team members, could you?

If I then woke those people and asked them to name their team members, would they name the same group?

Would each of those people (after waking up just a bit more) be able to clearly articulate each person’s role and contribution to the objective you are all working so hard to achieve?

The following are a few True Stories:

Story 1: CEO and newly hired VP discuss a change in corporate strategy which significantly alters another VP’s role.  They consider not telling the other VP.

Story 2: Your organization is struggling with expense management.  The HR Director keeps offering to help investigate the problem but is dismissed as helpful but unqualified.  The management team does not know she has a background in finance and is a current CPA.

Story 3: As the leader of a senior team, you’ve hired a consultant to facilitate a team development process.  Six of the seven members of the group express puzzlement and surprise that the group is being referred to as a team.  They report that they don’t all work together.

Tips:

1. Know your objective

2. Know your team, the people on the team and the skills and qualities they each have to offer

3. Gather your team together in person and come up with a shared definition of success (This is an excellent opportunity to introduce the concept that they ARE a team.  See #3 above.)

4. Hold every team member accountable for measurable results in support of the team’s work toward the objective.

5. Respect the team and each member with open, straightforward and transparent communication.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Five New Year Resolutions for Your Brain

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Calm.  Clear.  Creative. That’s what you can be when your brain is happy.

When we are stressed and feeling overwhelmed, our brain is in threat response.  When we’re in threat response, our ability to think rationally and be creative is compromised.

Here are five things you can do to make your brain happy in 2012:

1. Constructive Venting: Something bothering you?  Vent it! Those of you familiar with Motivation Factor know that we use this technique as part of our Energy Drainer exercise to help calm the brain’s threat response and prepare us to generate forward-looking options and actions.  In order to think rationally and creatively about a problem, you’ve got to get out of fight/flight mode.  Take a few moments to list all the ways the problem is affecting you or causing you frustration. Who or what is letting you down?  What are you putting up with?  Write until you run out of steam.  That’s a sign that your amygdala is getting calm and you’re more ready to think.

2. Password Protect Your Hot Buttons: My phone had a habit of reaching out and touching someone on its own before I password protected it.  Our hot buttons do the same thing sometimes.  When someone inadvertently presses one, before we know it, we’re lashing out at them for some perceived offense – without any rational intent on our part.  Much like unintentionally dialing a client at 3am in their time zone, our hot-button-fueled, knee jerk reactions put our brain into threat response.  To avoid hot button mayhem (and to keep relationships healthy), practice the half-sec-pause.  It takes just a half second to name the offense (disrespected, embarrassed, dishonest, disorganized, etc.)  – like a password – to have a positive and calming effect on the brain’s stress response mechanism.  Then, you can respond just a tad more rationally.

3. Zone Out: “Meditation” can sound too heady and unattainable.  Relax.  Seriously, just relax.  That’s all your brain wants.  You know the difference between wearing a tight belt and being in sweat pants?  Picture your brain taking off that tight belt and putting on a nice pair of fleece sweats.  Aaaahhhhh.  That’s it.  Just get comfy and zone out for 5 minutes or more.  Recent studies show that insights (those “aha” moments) only happen when the brain is quiet.  Maybe you’ll have more of them.

4. Do What You Love: Did you know your brain lights up when you do what you’re best at?  Doing what you love also triggers feel good hormones, putting us in better moods and states of mind.  Are you creative? Bring more creativity into your work and life.  Love winning? Compete more.  Enjoy communing with nature?  Get the heck outside.  Doing more of what you love is restorative.  It’s good for the soul – and the brain.

5. Ask (and Answer) “Why?”: Why do you do what you do?  The best cocktail for the brain is made by combining equal part skill and challenge (shake, garnish with purpose and serve).  The brain is most balanced and alert when we are doing something that a. we have some skill at (ie we’re not totally overwhelmed or in over our heads); b. challenges us to learn or stretch (ie we’re not totally bored) and c. has some meaning to us.  Whether that meaning is in the doing itself (“I help save lives”) or an indirect result of the doing (“this awful job feeds my precious family”).   Whatever you do, are you doing it purposefully?  Your brain likes that best.

What do YOU do to keep YOUR brain healthy?

 

One great interview question you’re probably not asking

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Technical skill, accountability, responsibility, innovation, great attitude – all qualities you want to get a sense for during your interviews with candidates.  But how do you get a sense for motivation and engagement?  The ability to stay the course, pick one’s self up by one’s boot straps and keep on truckin?

Here’s a great question for your next interview:

“Tell me about a time when you lost motivation for or became disengaged with a project, team or company.  What prompted that loss of motivation or disengagement and what did you do about it?”

In their answer, you get a sense of:

  • what it takes to affect the individuals level of motivation or engagement
  • the things they value (respect, being heard, freedom, etc.)
  • the extent to which the individual takes responsibility for his or her own motivation and engagement
  • how effective they are at noticing and correcting a drift away from the goal
  • what you can expect if they become demotivated or disengaged at your organization

 

 

Top Ten Gifts for the HR professional in your life

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10 Keen insight into what makes people tick

9 Effortless problem solving ability at all levels

8 Poise and calm in the face of adversity

7 Consistent application of management best practices

6 Celebration of diversity for innovation and perspective

5 The perfect words to deliver difficult news while respecting dignity

4 A network of fun, smart, generous colleagues

3 Insightful knowledge of industry trends

2 Engaged and motivated employees

1 Huge company profits attributed to excellent organizational process and talent

Wishing you the gift of purposeful engagement in meaningful work and a soaring new year!

 

The Price of Disengagement

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My work is about inspiring purposeful engagement in meaningful work.  I do it because I know I can make a huge positive difference in people’s lives.  That makes me happy.  But why should YOU care?  Here’s some “Engagement Nerd” data for you:

Gallup research has shown that”engaged employees are more productive, profitable, safer, create stronger customer relationships, and stay longer with their company than less engaged employees.”

The consulting firm, Blessing White says that “Engaged employees are not just committed.  They are not just passionate and proud.  They have a line-of-sight on their own future and on the organization’s mission and goals.  They are enthused and in gear, using their talents and discretionary effort to make a difference in their employer’s quest for sustainable business success.”

Hewitt Associates has reported that high engagement firms had a total shareholder return that was 19% higher than average in 2009.  In low engagement organizations, total shareholder return was 44% below average.

Similarly, Gallup found that organizations with comparatively high proportions of engaged employees were much less likely than the rest to see a decline in EPS in 2008 and Wharton’s analysis of the Best Companies to Work for in America indicated that “high levels of employee satisfaction generate superior long-horizon returns”.

A recent national poll by the Conference Board found that job satisfaction is the lowest since the poll began in 1987 with only 45 percent of employees satisfied with their jobs.

Disengaged managers are three times more likely to have disengaged employees.  This data from the 2009 Sirota Survey Intelligence Study.

Studies over the past few years have consistently shown that 60 percent of workers plan to look for new jobs as soon as the economy provides opportunities. This data becomes more relevant to the average manager when paired with the fact that replacing a departing employee can cost as much as 1.5 to 3.5 times their annual salary, posing a threat to the success of any organization in a fragile recovery. (Salaries Looking Up, John Dooney, HR Magazine, October, 2009).

Electrocuting Yourself and Others

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My husband and I celebrated our 21st anniversary last month and, as a gift, my parents thought it would be nice for us to replace the bare wires hanging from our home office ceiling with an actual light fixture.  (Do you know how hard it is to find a decent light fixture with a pull chain?)

We were delighted.  My parents suggested that we may want to exchange the fixture for something more to our liking so we unpacked the fixture and held it up to the ceiling to see how it looked and

GZZZZTTT

…the exposed wires hanging from the ceiling touched, causing a startling spark and some equally startling foul language. Thankfully no one was hurt and within minutes my husband had capped the wires with those neat little twisty wire cappers.  All was well.

Many of us walk around with our own exposed wires just ready and waiting for some poor, unsuspecting soul to touch them off.  We call them “triggers” or “hot buttons” and when someone presses them…GZZZZTTTT!  Whether it’s the guy on the highway cutting you off, someone interrupting you, chronic tardiness or a disrespectful comment, we’ve all experienced that shot of adrenaline that tells us that our buttons have – yet again – been pressed.

Interestingly, while we accept the fact that electricity is conducted through wires and that they must be capped to avoid unnecessary or uncontrolled current, we seldom apply the same mechanics to ourselves.  It’s the other guy’s fault for doing the stupid thing.  She MADE us feel angry/sad/hurt/embarrassed.  They deserved our wrath in response to their lateness.

In fact, our personal wires – or hotbuttons – are unique to us.  Not everyone is wired to be aggravated by the same things.  Not everyone is annoyed by tardiness, not everyone is enraged by stupid driving habits.  So the currents flowing through these wires are our own.  And it’s our responsibility to know what those currents are and how to effectively manage them.  Because if we let our wires flail around uncapped, we find our hotbuttons get pressed more and more often.  And if our hotbuttons are constantly pressed we get worn down and either lash out or check out; or we decide that things are hopeless; or we decide that everyone else is at fault and we become isolated.

These wires – if figurative – are real and they originally existed in our brain to protect us from danger.  Today, with information overload, the fast pace of technology and the ever-more-demanding social and economic landscape, we need to become better managers of our brain’s threat response system.  To avoid hotbutton overload, here are a few ideas:

1. Give yourself a break.  Do something fun or relaxing – even for a short time (though the longer you can responsibly have fun or relax, the better).  The overloaded brain needs some quiet time.

2. Put words to your hotbuttons.  Instead of going straight for the jugular of the other guy (“idiot driver”, “lazy colleague”, “disrespectful oaf”…), PAUSE for just a second to name the impact of whatever just happened.  For instance: “Being cut off on the highway was scary and dangerous”; “When kept waiting, I worry. “; “Hearing disrespectful comments is embarrassing”. This lets your brain’s threat response system know that the rational part of you is aware of the threat and can handle it from here.

3. Ask yourself what you want instead.  “To get to work safely”, “to be in control of my schedule”, or “to be unaffected by others’ comments” are examples.  These “insteads” engage your the rational part of your brain and sets you on a path of positive solution rather than letting your threat response system go off half cocked.  Left to it’s own devices, your threat response would likely be hopping around shaking its fist saying: “run that idiot off the road”, “make the late person pay for their laziness” or “punch that person in the nose – that’ll teach ‘em!”.  As gratifying as it may feel to flip someone the bird, it has no positive effect on you, your brain, or the other person’s driving habits.

4. Have fun and relax.  Life is extremely short.  Dr. Phil’s guests should not be our role models.  No one is waking up in the morning plotting how to ruin our day (and if there IS someone doing this to you – maybe you should find different folks to hang out with).  You have more control over your own well-being than you may be aware of.

These four steps are your own neat little twisty wire cappers.